Surbiton escorts on the prowl

I have noticed that a lot of escorts agencies from the outskirts of London seem to be moving in towards London, says madame Eve who runs one of central London’s leading agencies. It is partially our own fault as during the summer, a lot of the agencies in central London are really busy with the Arab Bad Boys. This is something that happens every year and we should rally try to control the situation better. We always seem to get overbooked and many of the escorts do like dating the Arab Bad Boys because they tip so well, and I can’t blame the girls for that.

This summer a Surbiton escorts agency in http://cityofeve.com/surbiton-escorts has made a play for some of our regular gents. The the thing is that many of our regular gents can’t get dates during the summer because of the Arab bad boys, and it must be very frustrating for them. This is part of the reason why they have turned to other agencies such as the Surbiton escorts agency that I mention. It can be frustrating for us, but what happens during the summer is not really fair on our regular dating base. The local gents effectively see all of their favorite girls taken away from them.

There is another factor here as well, says madame Eve. The rates of the Surbiton escorts agency are much lower as well. We love to be able to compete but running an agency in London is so expensive. The girls boudoirs cost a fortune to rent, and on top of that we have to pay London waiting to the girls on the front desk. It is nice to be able to live in the capital, but you certainly don’t safe any money by running an agency. It could even be that escorts agencies on the outskirts of London make more profit than we do here in central London.

I have not spoken to the boss of the Surbiton escorts agency but I will try to. I have to say that all of the girls from the agency are absolutely stunning, and they seem to have really good staff retention. The girls that I have heard about all seem to have been with the agency for a long time, so they must be happy here. I do have to say that we have quite a high turnover of girls in this part of town.

It would be nice if we could work something out in between us, says madame Eve. Perhaps Surbiton escorts would help us out during the summer when it is really busy here in London, and we could sort of work together. It would be nice to have a working relationship with an other agency instead of being in competition with them all of the time. Most agencies in London and the surrounding area always seem to be competing against each other, maybe we should take a second look at our working relationships, ends madame Eve with a smile.

Does This Guy Know about El Sexo?

I am excited about Bedsider’s new Spanish-language birth control portal. ¡Visita Bedsider en españolI hope they add videos in Spanish, too. Have you seen a Guy’s Guide to Birth Control series? It’s great. When/if the Spanish version drops, if Guy Nottadadi isn’t bilingual, I hope they swap him out for a Spanish speaker who is equally sexy. Maybe a sex ed doppelgänger for Brazilian actor Rodrigo Santoro or Cuban male model Yosliem Ariosa?

What’s Sex Like for Women in Africa?

Wow! Big thanks to the BBC for the heads up about Mmabatho Montsho. She’s a South African filmmaker and actor who wants to smash sexual stereotypes about women living in countries in Africa. I think it’s easy to get caught up in this idea that sexual stereotypes are more liberal and sexual behaviors less risky in the U.S. than in other countries—especially in Africa. It’s more complex than that.

Take HIV/AIDS for example. In the U.S., of all the new HIV infections in a given year, approximately 1 out of 4 occurs in teens, college-age students, and other young people in that 13 to 24 years old range. One in four. That’s high, and we should be embarrassed. You know who else contracts HIV a lot here? Older people. For adults 50+, the statistic is 1 in 5. Quinquagenarians grew up with the social expectation that you’d marry one person for life, and they’re not accustomed to slipping gloves on their meat as often as Gen Xers are who grew up in the early days of hysteria.

We’re certainly not an AIDS-free country. Heading toward it; we’re just not there yet.

In any event, Mmabatho sounds like a fascinating woman, and I’ve enjoyed watching her show on YouTube. “I’m interested in provocative content that agitates,” she says. Want to check out a few insiders’ views of “everything from virginity testing to sex education” in Africa? Check out Women On Sex on YouTube.

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What’s Sex Like for Women in Africa?

Sex Education in the US, brought to you by John Oliver

“God is watching you masturbate, and the fluids coming out of your genitals are actually his tears.” If you didn’t catch British comedian John Oliver’s recent #SexEd rant on Last Week Tonight, here’s what you missed:  A serious, informative, and entertaining look at what’s wrong with sex education in America. I’m happy to be a part of fixing it.

I Füçkèd Your Country: 2014 Capital Fringe Festival

UPDATE #1: Tickets on sale now funkybrownchick.com/tickets

UPDATE #2: Reviews and Praise

“Hines is undeniably charismatic and is completely natural in front of a crowd.”
— Washington City Paper

“A wonderfully saucy way to spend an evening or a post-brunch stupor.
— Washington City Paper

“… a popular sex columnist”
— Washingtonian magazine

One of the Internet’s “sultriest sharers.”
—Village Voice

“Twanna is one of those women who oozes sexuality.”
—AfterEllen.com

“If there’s anyone in the sexuality education field who does not already know Twanna’s work, then that person is not paying attention.”
— Laura Anne Stuart, MPH, Northwestern University

 

Lovers, I recently spoke at a sexuality conference in Washington, DC. I was happy to share the event’s spotlight with: Cornell University’s Developmental Psychology professor / Sex & Gender Lab director Dr. Ritch C. Savin-Williams; Woodhull Freedom Foundation board member Carol Queenauthor Gram Ponante; United Nations consultant Francisco Ramirez, MPH; author Melissa Gira Grant; award-winning (and dashingly handsome!!) poet Mo Beasley; and that reserved-yet-oh-so-ridiculously-sexy Englishman Dr. Jamie F. Lawson. And many, many, more people who inspire me.

By the way, speeeeeeaaaaking of Englishmen …

I was a 22-year-old virgin living in England when I had sex for the first time. The guy was a half Danish / half Englishman named Geoff. I thought he was 100% awesome and extremely exotic because he had a British accent … and he spelled his name G-E-O-F-F instead of plain-old-boring Jeff, like we Americans do. At the time, Geoff and I lived in Canterbury. It was his home, and I was a study abroad student enjoying my final semester of university.

Union Jack

After 1 am and many drinks, inside his apartment ( … ahem, “flat” as those silly English people say … ), we took turns taking each other’s clothes off on his living room floor. He kissed me on the mouth, running his tongue hard against mine. As he repositioned himself to climb on top of me and kiss my naked breasts, torso, and groin, my face burned. Excited as I was embarrassed, I told him that we should go upstairs — unless he wanted his roommates to walk in on us. Climbing up one staircase and into a bed later, I remember thinking: “This is the part where he’s going to put his vanilla dick inside my yummy chocolate center.”

Having grown up Evangelical Christian in rural Mississippi and Illinois, I was totally unprepared. All I knew was that I was not supposed to have sex until I got married. Yet, here I was: Single. In England. Ready to fuck a really pale white guy with an awesome, sexy accent. I had no clue what I was doing. I said …

“Should we use a condom?” I didn’t know how to put one on, but it sounded like a grown up, responsible thing to say.

There’s more to this story.

I could go on, but no one reads anything anymore. You want visuals. Images. IRL – In Real Life. You’d rather watch and listen to me talk about how I got füçkèd for the first time. So, that’s what I’m gonna give you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce that the lovely people at Capital Fringe have invited me to debut my true sex storytelling show I Füçkèd Your Country at their 2014 Summer Fringe Festival in our nation’s capital. It’s a show about ethnicity, family, intercultural understanding … and how I fucked my way through the whole of the UK and Western Europe 😉

More than that, it’s a story about why we all need sex education throughout our lives and how, despite our ethnicities and nationalities, we’re not that different from each other. Everyone wants to be loved for exactly who they are.

Buy tickets: funkybrownchick.com/tickets

Read the Media Advisory for quick details, check out the FAQ, use Facebook to link with others already planning to attend, and save the dates:

Friday, 7/11/2014 at 10:30 PM   ** SOLD **
Wednesday, 7/16/2014 at 6:00 PM
Saturday, 7/19/2014 at 8:15 PM
Thursday, 7/24/2014 at 6:30 PM
Sunday, 7/27/2014 at 2:30 PM

In case you don’t think you’ll check FUNKY BROWN CHICK® for updates between each performance, sign up for my Tiny, Private Love Letter, and I’ll shoot you all the juicy performance details as they develop.

Love to all of you … especially the men with sexy, British and European accents.

 

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I Füçkèd Your Country: 2014 Capital Fringe Festival

How to Talk to Your 5-Year-Old Kid About Sex

I don’t think any sane, healthy adult wants to teach a 5 year old how to give blowjobs. Classrooms in my hometown, Chicago Public Schools, are adding sex education for kindergarten students. (Yes, adding sex ed to curriculum, not mandating, because parents and guardians can still opt out.) In my career, I’ve instructed and directly managed hundreds of comprehensive sex education courses for thousands of K-12 children. I’ve also helped their moms, dads, guardians, uncles, aunts, and other adults discuss it with them. The problem with sex ed in America is this: Americans are relatively uncomfortable with sex. “If we start talking to kids about it,” the logic often goes, “they’ll start doing it or, maybe, we’ll just introduce them to too much information too fast. Why the hell does a 5-year-old kid need to know about sex, anyway?!”

If you want the straight dope on sex ed for tots, here’s what’s going on. People who actually know what the hell they’re talking about — folks like Advocates for Youth, answer, and SIECUS — released The National Sexuality Education Standards: Core Content and Skills, K-12  “to provide clear, consistent and straightforward guidance on the essential minimum, core content for sexuality education.” The guidelines are divided by age and grade. Thankful to use something that actually works, schools in Chicago, New York City, and elsewhere, are aligning their curricula with the new standards. The intended outcomes? Better sex education. Fewer teen pregnancies. More kids who don’t contract HIV. This is all good.

Image by Kenny Lam

Image by Kenny Lam

The idea is that this stuff is additive over time. If you expect a pre-teen boy to “get” why gooey stuff will shoot out of his penis, it’s helpful if he understands sperm and reproduction. If you expect a pre-teen girl to truly understand menstruation, you’ve gotta back up to early ages and make sure she understands body parts, the reproductive tract, and other concepts instead of (out of the blue!) informing her, at 12, one day her vagina will bleed and that’s called a period.

In case you want to get an idea of how to explain sex to little ones in your family, I’ve pasted the K-2 National Sexuality Education Standards (NSES ) breakdown below, along with my recommendations to strengthen them even more.

 

BY THE END OF THE 2ND GRADE, STUDENTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO: NSES RECOMMENDS MY (ADDITIONAL) RECOMMENDATIONS
ANATOMY & PHYSIOLOGY
  • Use proper names for body parts, including male and female anatomy
  • Use proper names for all body parts
  • Provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls should look (e.g. long/short hair, painted finger nails, big muscles, earrings)
PUBERTY AND ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
  • No items
  • Explain there is a length of time that a person or animal/pet lives and changes occur during that length of time.
IDENTITY
  • Describe differences and similarities in how boys and girls may be expected to act.
  • Provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls think they should act.
  • Same as NSES recommendations
PREGNANCY AND REPRODUCTION
  • Explain that all living things reproduce
  • Explain reproduction
  • Explain not all living things are able to or want to reproduce
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND HIV
  • No items
  • Explain almost every internal and external body part is able to become ill
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
  • Identify different kinds of family structures
  • Demonstrate ways to show respect for different types of families
  • Describe the characteristics of a friend
  • Identify healthy ways for friends to express feelings to each other
  • Identify different kinds of relationships in their lives (e.g friends, family, student/teacher, next door neighbors, etc.)
  • Describe the characteristics of a relationship
  • Demonstrate ways to show respect for a relationship
  • Identify healthy and appropriate ways people express themselves in different relationships
PERSONAL SAFETY
  • Explain that all people, including children, have the right to tell others not to touch their body when they do not want to be touched
  • Identify parents and other trusted adults they can tell if they are feeling uncomfortable about being touched
  • Demonstrate how to respond if someone is touching them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable
  • Demonstrate how to clearly say no, how to leave an uncomfortable situation, and how to identify and talk with a trusted adult if someone is touching them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable
  • Explain what bullying and teasing are
  • Explain why bullying and teasing are wrong
  • Identify parents and other trusted adults they can tell if they are being bullied or teased
  • Demonstrate how to respond if someone is bullying or teasing them
  • Same as NSES recommendations

 

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How to Talk to Your 5-Year-Old Kid About Sex

What Does It Mean If You Hate Sex?

Lovers, if you live in ‪New York City, ‎Philadelphia‬ or ‪‎Boston‬, you can grab a copy of my column from newsstands, nearby subways, and everywhere else ink and paper hang out. Metro Newspaper is a daily printed in 15 languages in 19 countries sprinkled throughout Asia, Europe, North America, and South America, reaching 17 million readers each day. I’m a sex columnist for each of the North American editions. This week’s topic? Hate sex (note: hot hating sex). It’s a topic even George Orwell covered. Trust me, you don’t wanna miss this Thursday’s piece. So, heads up: Pick it up or read it online: Hate Sex: How To Have It.

Image by Sébastien Wiertz

Image by Sébastien Wiertz

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What Does It Mean If You Hate Sex?

Have Explosive Orgasms, Whether Partnered or Solo

Image by bayasaa

Image by bayasaa

I wish you bedroom fireworks and explosive orgasms this July 4th holiday weekend. Whether you’re single, hanging out with someone, partnered up, or enjoying a different arrangement, have fun! Remember: solo doesn’t mean sexless. Watch me dole out masturbation tips (if tl;dw, skip to 15:50) or read up on how to have a one night stand advice. Simply seeking cerebral titillation? If you’re in or near my hometown Chicago, come to an intimate lakeshore gathering of art and sex storytelling.

Blink_Gallery

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Have Explosive Orgasms, Whether Partnered or Solo